vis·cer·al/ˈvis(ə)rəl
relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect.cog·ni·tive
of, relating to, being, or involving conscious intellectual activity.
there are moments when i’m able to view my life outside of myself. moments i realize profound things about who i am and who i’d like to be.
this past weekend commemorated my well established adulthood with another birthday. no more if’s, and’s, or but’s about it, i am a man. and with this realization comes another, i’m proud of the man i am but i feel far from complete. that is to say i can see a lot of things i’d like to be better at, many more goals for achievement and ways in which i want to grow.
i’m proud of my accomplishments, for example i’ve established my talents to allow me to innovate and create professionally and i’m very good. i’m aware and conscious of life outside of my world. i understand that just bc i’m having a bad day it doesn’t mean it’s my right to take that out in any direction but internally. its not always easy but i accept my hardships and overcome them. i’ve remained young at heart and curious til the end. i still care for people without exception. and i never hesitate to live life’s moments for everything they are.
i think it’s a fair list of things to be proud of but with realization of these areas of pride i also acknowledge the areas in which personal growth must be had to achieve my goal.
-i need to get back to my visceral, i think far too much. the times when i acted like an idiot-kid are over but it doesn’t mean everything in my life must have logic and a plan. feel it more!
-i can’t just hang out with people that show me no love, default friends are over. it really takes a toll on me. new york in general has hardened me to being affectionate with people, throw in being around people that couldn’t care less about my well fare just brings me down. don’t cling to those who don’t perpetuate feelings of warmth.
-say less but make what you say more meaningful. after years of adjusting to people without any close friends or family in new york i continue to need to make people understand what i’m saying. i silence my frustration with people for no good reason. give up that need to make everyone understand bc some people don’t listen and others dont want to hear. the people that do will ask. speak less but say more.
-caring about people is one thing but taking action must be done to make things change for them. whether its volunteering, speaking your mind more, or something completely different figure it out. if you want to help people then you need to do it, not just think about it.
-be warmer to people, don’t wait for people to show you signs of warmth. throw them out and if they don’t come back dont turn them into coldness, just move on.
-don’t look for praise on everything good thing you do, this is what you do. no one needs to know, it’s about the action not recognition or achievement. you spread goodness for goodness sake. that’s what you’re about.
-be on time everywhere. this one is easy -just get it done, you’re the man you want to be and that man is on time and dependable for people. always.
-go after what you want with 100% conviction. weighing out how much i really want something has become a routine, one that has led me to hesitation too often. it is important that i grow past the cognitive need to justify and follow my instincts. be alive and go for what you want without hesitation.
-embrace change. its said that the only true constant is change, know that and don’t ever become ridge to it. say yes to change always before you say no!
-last one, find your sense of cool and relax with it. the coolest thing you’ve ever done is be cool enough to instill relaxation in others thru your presence. find it again and be confident enough to not lose your cool.
all people share two inherent approaches to every situation in life. Cognitive or Visceral. two choice methods to all situations in our lives, do i use my intellectual sense or do i let my feelings dictate my actions and words. it’s time to bring these in balance to move on to the next chapter of being.
be proud. you’ve come from nothing to be able to make a difference now. now be the change you wanted to see.
ps- this is really a note to myself not so much a blog post.
